Is the Audi RS4 Avant the answer? Or is it 42?
Noel Ebdon falls in love with the 2014 Audi RS4 Avant and finds the meaning of life. It’s the only car you’ll ever need
By Noel Ebdon
I have had an automotive epiphany. I have found the answer to something that has plagued me for decades. For years I have woken in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, with my heart racing at a thousand beats per minute. The cause is a nightmare that recurs every time my wallet or bank account feels a little too empty, or an impending large bill heads in my direction.
[Read Shahzad’s full review of the RS4 Avant here]
The terrible dream revolves around me having to have only one car in my life. Yes, I know, terrifying. The thought of only having one machine in the garage makes my blood run cold, and for two very good reasons.
Firstly, there are so many great cars out there, that limiting yourself to one is just plain crazy. But, secondly, no single car covers all the bases, ticks all the boxes, or does it all in one package.
But hold on one second. The source of my revelation may just be rewriting that age-old rule. I think I may have found that very car and conquered my fear, finding the automotive equivalent of the Holy Grail. But perhaps the strangest thing of all is that the car in question is a station wagon (or an Estate as its known in some circles). The solution to all our motoring needs might be the Audi RS4 Avant.
Before you think I’ve completely lost the plot, let me explain. One of the big problems in life is that you actually need a number of cars for a number of tasks. Imagine you need to head off to the continent for a family holiday, complete with the usual detritus a family of four seem to need for a week away. You need a station wagon. An Audi RS4 Avant fits that bill nicely.
The following week you want to use the car for a blast down some twisty mountain roads, before blowing away some young whipper snapper in his slammed Japanese hot-hatch at the traffic lights. Then you’re going to need a sports car. Or perhaps an Audi RS4 Avant, which has race-bred suspension, handles like a go-kart and, thanks to a 450 hp 4.2 litre V8, will hit 100 kmph in just 4.7 seconds.
Later, you’re off to meet some friends for dinner and frankly, you want to impress them. Then you’re going to need something that looks a little swish. Try parking an RS4 Avant anywhere and watch the admiring glances you get from passers-by, thanks in part to the neat body kit and 20-inch alloys. That’ll do nicely once again.
But you also need a great motorway cruiser to get you to and from the office during the week. A mile crunching German uber-wagon will do. Can you see a pattern emerging yet?
But indulge me a little further if you will? Need a car for a track day blast, which you can drive home in afterwards? Try Quattro all-wheel-drive, performance brakes and 430 Nm of torque. Yup, we’re still with the Audi.
I was luckily enough to drive an RS4 Avant for a whole week during a recent holiday in the UK, and having driven a range of exotic machinery there many times before, including many of the famous supercar models, I have never been asked for the keys for a trip around the block as many times as I did with the Audi.
The trick, I think, is that, unlike hyper cars and fire breathing GTs, the Avant is both accessible and acceptable. Turn up with an Audi R8 and your better half will probably shoot you. Turn up in the Avant and they’ll probably approve. Little kids will love it as well, because it has loads of room in the back. Older kids will also love it, because it’s icy cool.
I actually couldn’t find anything I didn’t like about it, apart from the squeaky screen divider that stops things flying out of the boot. Luckily it was removable, so I left it at home for the week and risked a pram in the back of my head, should I have had an accident.
Even my single and carefree friends loved it, even though they have zero use for a station wagon (apart from the odd high speed trip to IKEA of course). It really is a car for everyone.
So to sum up it looks great, has a fantastic interior, goes like stink, handles like a GT, has room for everyone and his dog, and isn’t a million dollars. It’s even a bit green, boasting an energy recuperation system, which recovers energy during coasting and braking, saving you fuel.
Douglas Adams was wrong. The meaning of life is not 42; it’s the Audi RS4 Avant.
