2018 Audi RS5 Review

Audi found a new secret ingredient for its new RS5 – Gamma Radiation!

By Shahzad Sheikh

Click below to watch my 2018 Audi RS5 Review

‘Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.’

2018 Audi RS5 Review

Sorry Brucie baby, but we do like you, we like you a lot as The Incredible Hulk – which is why you hung out during most of that stupid Thor movie as the Green Smashing Machine. Okay, maybe that was a bit too much.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

But the question is whether the automotive equivalent of The Hulk is gonna be too much. Oh yes, Audi have been genning up on Marvel Universe characters.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

Coincidentally there was a break in some time ago at Stark Industries Laboratories and some valuable and highly specialised equipment was stolen. The sort of equipment that could generate extreme amounts of Gamma Radiation I’m told.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

Not long after a strange green glow was reported to have been witness by terrified residents of Ingolstadt between munching down Bockwurst and swigging down jars of beer. A totally ludicrous stereotype, but why the heck not?

2018 Audi RS5 Review

Anyway, not long afterwards  this green machine emerged, and when I say green I obviously don’t mean as in grass-eating, daisy-farting alternative-fuel thrifty-mobile accompanied by butterflies wherever it goes.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

No we’re talking a bad-ass tarmac-bazooka packing 444bhp and 442lb ft of torque in its 2.9-litre Twin Turbo V6 heart, able to rip chunks out of the Earth as it accelerates from 0-100kph in under four seconds and shatter the entranced reverie of tree-huggers as it blitz past at speeds of up to 280kph – when off the leash.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

The sports-configured Quattro in the new Audi RS5, mated to an 8-speed ZF transmission, splits the torque 40:60 fore and aft and deploys torque vectoring to grab corners by the collar and scare the crap out of them with a single road.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

You want a price? What price for a superhero amongst motors? Oh okay then – AED376,530 including VAT ($103k).

2018 Audi RS5 Review

You get a honeycomb grille, wider fenders, aggressive front bumper and a variant of the A5 Coupe that stands out easily from the crowd. I’m not sure how this achieves what the TT RS fails to do for example, but it certainly sets itself apart from the regular versions, and it’s not just the Sonoma Green colour, it’s the way this fearsome thing sits.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

It won’t make much conversation, like the Hulk, through its steering wheel. It’s blunt and effective though, trust it to do the right thing – and again like the Hulk, you’re putting a lot of faith in its ability to control great power. With which comes great responsibility as we all know.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

But where it departs from Bruce Banner’s alter ego is that the RS5 is not a clumsy oaf, this thing will carve up corners with precision at a frenetic pace that even Iron Man will struggle to keep up with.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

He’ll want to try though. As will every other wannabe Boy Racer out there. Like I said, it stands out, and gets clocked easily. Drive around Dubai and it won’t be long before a rogue rookie sidles up and revs their intentions.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

Fortunately I’m in tempered and mild Bruce Banner mode when that happens and let the other guy burnout his way straight into the welcoming flash of the nearest speed camera. The Audi is too smart for that.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

The Hulk with brains – okay so that’s what we got here. Happy to do the sedate cruise taking the good Doctor from lab to date with Black Widow with ease.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

Get out to where you can do minimum damage though and take an extra set of clothes as what you’re wearing will rip asunder when the full Gamma hit takes hold and going gets green.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

Split personality for sure, but not unmanageable if I’m honest. Still if you look back at my S5 review I did ponder the point of it, offering that the A5 did almost all that car could, but if you really wanted a stand-out performance variant it would surely be the RS5 that would serve up the sensational speed.

2018 Audi RS5 Review

And sure enough I’ve got to credit myself as being as smart as Tony Stark – because I was right. If you just want an Audi coupe, get the A5. If you want something that’ll get a little angry when baited by a BMW M4 on a twisty section of quiet mountain road, get this RS5 – cry out loud ‘Hulk Smash!’

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *